I have a new boyfriend.

His name is Q. He's 7 months old, and is darling. I went to LLL today, and I've been watching this little guy grow. He has Down's Syndrome, and watching his development has been amazing. Honestly, I've never seen such a little guy produce so much attitude. LOL He's got this "I've totally got it made" look that crosses his face as he sits snuggled up in his mother's arms. He does, too. I held him for the first time today. I'd been sort of afraid to ask before. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was afraid he might break or something. I think if my little one had Down's, my momma bear instincts would be in overdrive, and if his mom were feeling the same way, I didn't want to upset her by holding him wrong or something. Since then, I've gotten my head out of my ass, and gosh darn it, he was looking at me today, and I just had to hold him. I discovered that he has the most beautiful blue eyes I've seen on a baby since N's (which are now green), and he just gazed at me for minutes on end. It wasn't empty gazing either. This precious little one's eyes communicate like none I've seen before. It was amazing. I discovered that he loves having his hand held, and that if you tickle the bottom of his feet, he has the most delicious little giggle. I think I'm in love. :)
Seeing Q today and holding him, and just getting to know him made me think about things a little. I saw a website once, dedicated to babies who had been aborted for fetal anomaly. The baby's name was listed, and the disorder was listed under the name. Over and over and over again, I saw a name, followed by Trisomy 21. Thinking about it breaks my heart. There's no way right now to know how severe Down's Syndrome is until the baby is born. Q's parents didn't know of his condition before his birth. That was how they wanted it, and I totally understand. He's just such a precious little boy, I can't even begin to describe what a hold this child has taken on my heart. The absolute expression in this child's eyes, and his mother's pride and obvious adoration of him when she talks about or to him is something I wish everyone could see. It's amazing, and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Along the same lines, on NPR tonight, there was talk of how Nebraska ruled the partial-birth abortion ban unconstitutional because there was no 'health of the woman' exception. This is an expression I haven't heard before. I've always heard, even on NPR, the phrase as 'life of the mother.' What a slap in the face to my friends who have babies they have not gotten to meet. Maybe I'm overreacting (hormones, you know), but it seems to say that as long as the baby isn't actually born, that you're not a mother. Just a woman. Not that there's anything wrong with being 'just a woman,' but for me, Mother has a special ring to it. I want to say right now, that the many friends I have who have little ones that did not live to see this world, that they are every bit as much a mother as a woman with a living child. Carrying a baby changes you. You are no longer just a woman. You are a Mother.