A Temper Tantrum

I want to have a baby. I go through this whoooooole pregnancy thing just so I can get the cute little baby. I'm tired of Fertility Goddess. Give me the kid.

You'd think that if my body feels the need to be so rude as to wake me between 3 and 5am, it would at least have the courtesy to be in labor or something. No dice. @@ It's now 4:45am, I'm just now starting to get remotely sleepy again, and I'll have to be up in 2.5 hours to take DH to work (or I can sleep in and then get stuck in the house all day with a toddler who keeps asking for, "Outside? Outside? Out, out, out?" only to make a dash for the street as soon as we do get outside @@). I feel like a really pissy cat who has her claws out all the time, and I'm sick of it. I want me back. I nearly bit poor Dh's head off when he saw the light on in here and came to ask if I was okay. DOESN'T HE THINK I'D TELL HIM IF I WERE IN LABOR OR NEEDED HIM?!?!?!?!? He's the one catching the baby fercryinoutloud, I'm not about to have him miss it.

Sorry.Yes, I'm well aware I'm not even due yet and that a due date is only an estimate. Being reminded of this knowledge is absolutely no consolation whatsoever, as Ian was already out by now, and I think Fidget's decided to take up residence here permanently (yes, I know, no one's pregnant forever--don't say that to me either). I'm 39.5 weeks pregnant, my skin is stretched absolutely to the limit (as in brand-new stretch marks everywhere, and the old ones itch like crazy), and if one more person calls just to say, "Had that baby yet?" they're going to hear the phone go sailing through a window. Heaven help the next moron who asks me that in person. I'm measuring 43 weeks, which, incidentally, now that I go back and look at the reports, is larger than I measured with my first child, and I just went back and looked at belly pictures from labor with him. I'm way bigger this time, and my body is refusing to do anything more than send tons and tons of prodromal labor my way. Going on 3 days now, and I'm sick of it.

I. Want. This. Kid. Out.
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As an update, I posted this on my due date board, went to the bathroom, and discovered that I am actually losing my mucous plug--woo! Who'd have thought a snotty glob of mucous would be such a happydance inducing thing?