A milestone

Eeny put his pants on by himself this evening. We were getting ready to go for a walk, and I handed him a pair of pants to take to TheHusband so he could dress him. TheHusband and I briefly converse, and then we turn around to see Eeny on the couch, with one leg in his pants. I held the waistband so he could get his other leg in, and he put them on almost all of the rest of the way by himself. :) Yeah, so they were backwards and he needed help getting them up over his diaper, but WHO CARES?! My kid dressed himself! :)

I don't want to say this too loudly, but he might be on the way to weaning. He's started slowing down on nursing to sleep for naptime. He's also started nursing for a little bit, then saying, "No," and getting down. He cuddled on the couch with me today for 15 minutes without asking for his Nee. I think I'm ready for it.

I'm sad that he seems to be needing me less and less. I know it's normal and appropriate, but couldn't he need me less when we're not going through a time of tremendous upheaval? Can't he wait until I'm feeling like I'm a good mother to him again? I love him dearly, and he's been acting out lately. Totally understandable, given the circumstances of the past month, but it makes me really frustrated and angry with his behavior. I know it's normal, but somehow, knowing it's normal doesn't really help me feel any better when he scratches Rooster or pulls his hair or just walks up and hits him. He'll walk up once or twice a day and say to me, "Rooster down." He means "Put Rooster down," but he can't quite say that yet. He gets frantic if I can't do it right away. Usually, I can't. Rooster's in a phase of really really really really really really wanting to be held all the dang time now.

I know it's just temporary and normal, but still, it's frustrating to have the needs of another young child to meet. I don't like feeling like I'm prioritizing one child over the other when it comes to needs. I just feel like I'm not the mom either of them need right now. I know once I find a job and TheHusband's back to normal activities (meningitis sucks, don't ever get it) that things will settle down, and I'll have my sanity (or something like it) back and feel like a good mom again. I wonder where my patience went. It's probably on back order.