Laaaaaaaaaaaazy

So it's been over two weeks since I've last updated. What can I say? I'm lazy, I'm tired, and my life's been rather boring the last couple of weeks. Not that I particularly mind, boring's okay, I can deal with it.

The boys are still snotty. Eeny's coughing as the grand finale to his stupid cold, and Rooster's a booger with an occasional snot explosion. The post-nasal drip has made his already sensitive gag reflex kick into overdrive, so he projectile puked on me for the first time in three months.



This is Eeny, snacking on goldfish at my parents' house. He inspired a whole new level of weird parent remarks on Friday. Dad paid TheHusband to do some work for him, and TheHusband, in a fit of
I don't want to cook" compounded by my fit of, "I've been shut up in this house with two snotty kids practically all week with no adult interaction," took us to the haven that is IHOP. French Toast with boysenberry syrup made me feel much better. Anyway, the server gave Eeny crayons. Anyone who knows him knows this is a bad idea, unless you want your booth redecorated in shades of Crayola.

Eeny felt the need to test these lovely colors on everything (it came off the table, the booth, and the wall nicely), which resulted in the command to "stop coloring on your pancakes and eat them."



This is Rooster's reaction to his first bite of solid foods. Poor kid. We don't do baby cereal, so like his brother, he was started on homemade applesauce (apples and water-piece of cake). He was not amused. He does, however, like the tops of broccoli florets. Over the last couple of weeks, he has also decided that it's time to start cruising. I changed the crib sheet today, and had the mattress out on the floor. Rooster stood with his tiny butt in the air, and his wee hands braced on the mattress. I went into the hall to put something away, and TheHusband said, "Hey, did you leave him standing against the mattress?" I, thinking crib mattress said yes. Poor Rooster got the stuffing scared out of him when he heard me yelp as I came back into the room. The mattress TheHusband was referring to was Eeny's (twin) bed's mattress, which required Rooster to cruise over to the dresser, hold on to the side of the dresser, then lean precariously onto Eeny's mattress. Yeesh, this kid's fast.

In me news, it's been officially decided that I will be pursuing certification as a labor doula and lactation educator. Around here, anyway, the illustrious title of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant is starting to require an RN. I have absolutely zero desire to go to nursing school, and right now, LE is a much more financially feasible certification than trying to go to nursing school with two little kids.

Eeny and Rooster both decided last night that sleep was for the birds, and that 3am was Jack-in-the-box time. They got up for the morning at 6 and 8, respectively, leaving me with little rest. TheHusband took the Jeep to work as usual, and we began our day.

Rooster cried all day long. The only time he was happy was when he was on my hip, with his little grabby hands reaching for everything I was doing. I am normally overcome by feelings of love for his little grabby hands, but today, not so much.

The rules for today were as follows:
-Rooster must be held at all times, or he will cry and make a big, huge, enormous, desperate-sounding fuss
-No sitting down with Rooster
-No rocking Rooster unless you are standing and holding him 2 inches from your body
-No trying to convince Rooster to nurse and calm himself down
-Don't even think of going to lie down with Rooster and trick him into nursing
-No napping for Rooster
-Paying attention to Eeny is okay as long as Rooster is in arms while reading and playing are done
-No putting Rooster down to change a diaper
-It is no longer diaper changing. It is now small, pink alligator wrestling
-No putting fingers in Rooster's mouth to chew on
-No trying to convince Rooster that things really aren't that bad
-When Rooster does finally fall asleep, absolutely no putting him down under any circumstances

All. Day. Long. I understand the little guy's been through a lot. He's developed quite a few new skills lately, reached some milestones, and that's a lot for a baby to handle. He has never done this before, so I don't know that I can really complain. Just when I think I've got him figured out, he pulls this on me. LOL It'd be really tough if he did this all the time.

Rooster had been up for 4 cranky hours when I got Eeny down for his nap. I had to change his diaper during Eeny's naptime, and he woke up Eeny with his fussing about it. U checked the kid from head to toe. No visible reason for the fussiness. Eeny was now upset and cranky and very vocal about it, because he is NOT a happy camper when his nap is not completed. Rooster didn't have any gas, he looked fine, no fever, just the two new teeth he's cut, poking through, but it couldn't have been the teeth--he didn't act like this when the first two came in. It appears we're dealing with a Mystery Fuss.

After 5 hours of baby who is only happy while being carried and even then he's going to squawk and moan about something not being exactly to his specifications, and a toddler who got shorted on his night's sleep and his nap, and I still hadn't had a chance to grab lunch, it got to the point where I decided to join in and have a good cry, too.

I've never had to do this before, but I set Eeny up with a Thomas dvd (childproof living room--yay!), and put Rooster in his crib (he usually likes to play in there while I do laundry) with a few toys, and I hid in the other room for a few minutes to breathe and listen to the sound of silence. There's really nothing like the tearstained cheeks of your 6 month old to make you feel like Mother of the Year when you go to pick him up again for another round of Walk the Screaming Baby.

It was about an hour after walking Rooster around the house for the gazillionth time, trying all of the usual tricks, with Eeny trotting along beside us, and I had just figured out that the strange new rules for the day had taken effect, when I realized the following--every single tool in my Keep The Baby Happy Arsenal was in the Jeep. With TheHusband. At work.

My sling.
The diaper bag.
My clean cloth diapers and covers.
The package of disposables (in both boys' appropriate sizes and brands) my mother bought for us for night time.
Rooster's brand new teether, which also happens to be his new best friend.
Rooster's other favorite teething toys.
The stupid binky.
The Hyland's Teething Tablets.
The Tylenol.

All of it was far away from me. In the Jeep. Gone.

Rooster's a chunky little guy (he's over 20lbs), so by this time my back and my arm were killing me. Usually Rooster's happy to crawl around on the floor or play in the crib or PnP when I need to get something done, or he'll ride in the sling if he insists on being held. Not today. Because it's unusual for him to be so clingy, I decided not to put him down. The house would just have to deal, and we're not expecting company, so who cares if we're all in our jammies?

Then TheHusband calls, and with Rooster wailing in the background, he proceeds to try to talk to me about what he'd been able to get at the grocery store last night from our list, and how he wanted to stop by WalMart on the way home and finish the shopping, and was there anything else we needed? It would mean he was home late. Then, after listening to him ramble for 10 minutes listing various product brands for possible grocery options (gee, Honey, I'm really glad you want to talk to me, but I don't give a rat's butt what brand of hand soap you get, and that's why we made a friggin' LIST!!!), I politely informed him that I really was needed off the phone-the baby needed me, just in case he couldn't hear Rooster in the background. He actually got huffy that I didn't have time to listen to how the applesauce at Target was actually cheaper than the applesauce at Dillon's. !!!!! Men. So, in a fit of maturity and temper, I got off the phone before I let fly the Rant of the Wife Stuck in the House for Days on End (one car, must conserve gas) With Screaming Kid All Day.

The only break from Rooster's upset today came when I finally sat down and got him calmed down enough to nurse. Then he bit me! Not hard, but just enough for me to figure out that it probably had been his teeth all day. :(

Sure enough, I found the lone tube of Baby Orajel, applied a dose, and watched my poor baby drop off to sleep peacefully nursing, almost immediately. Stupid teeth. Why do they have to make it so hard on my kids? Why don't kids come with displays that inform parents of the reason for their crying?

Anyway, TheHusband came home half an hour later, waking up Rooster yet again (this makes a total of 90 minutes' worth of cat naps for the day), and we finally get out for our walk. On the way in, I bring in the diaper bag, sling, teether, diapers, binky, Tylenol, and Teething Tablets. I will NOT be caught without these things again.

Dinner is served, Eeny is bathed and put to bed after jammies, books, and snuggles, as well as the thanks of his mother for being such an understanding big brother. Now that I have the sling back, Rooster gets put in it, and he gets his teething tablets, Tylenol, and then he is walked to sleep.

I sit here at my computer and it's 2am. Rooster is sprawled out on the Boppy on my lap. He woke up to nurse, but drifted off to sleep again rather quickly. His tiny lips are sleepily pursed against his arm, and the lamplight is bringing out the blond in his hair. He's stirring, and he's snuggling closer to me. It's a cold night. He might feel the chill in the air, or he might just want to be closer to me. Either way, I think he's one of the most beautiful babies I've ever seen, and I thank God for sending him into our lives.
He is worth every ache and cramp in my arm, every twinge in my back, and every second I've spent trying to make his day a little more comfortable.

What a blessing this child is.

I'm in love.