One year ago....

I was sitting in front of the television, contracting, and feeling disappointed that I had not had a baby yet, and hopeful that it would happen the next day. I still had a ways to go. I remember also wanting to keep my baby inside me just a little bit longer. Here was the place I could protect him or her the best. I had rented the final episode of M*A*S*H because I'd never seen it before. In it, Hawkeye has a breakdown because he saw a woman on a bus smother her baby out of fear for their lives. The way it was revealed happened very quickly, and with no warning, and I jumped and started crying when I saw that. It obviously disturbed my precious little one, too. I worked for a wireless company's customer service center phone line, and N would get agitated when I was on a frustrating call. The kicks and movements I was getting were those of an agitated baby. I remember hugging my belly and telling my baby that I'd always be there for him or her, and I'd do whatever I can to protect them from the cruelty that causes human beings to become so desperate. I pray I can keep that promise to him now that he's out and likely to get into all sorts of things. He's my baby, and I'd "climb to heaven, crawl beneath the lowest hell to stay near" him.
Anyway, yesterday was the year anniversary of my labor starting. Today was the anniversary of the day we walked and relaxed, enjoying the pain, and knowing that the best result ever was in store. I had been 2 cm, and contracting very nicely, and I felt like progress was being made, so when there was no outside baby, I was disappointed. I didn't get much sleep, as I was unable to sleep through the contractions. Oh well....it all worked out in the end. Tomorrow will be spent doing major planning for N's party this weekend. It's looking like fun...