Why.

Someone in one of my forums, asked me why I don't let N cry it out. I responded, and this was my answer: When I was three, my parents, baby sister, and I visited a friend of theirs and her room mate. I fell asleep on the couch. My sister soon developed breathing problems (we found out she had pneumonia), and my parents and their friend took her to the ER. I woke up sometime later, and it was night. There was a desk lamp on, but no other light. I vaguely remember a radio being on. I was thirsty, and I wanted to know where my parents were. I called for them. No one answered. I kept calling. I wasn't familiar with this house, and I got in trouble if I got out of bed during the night, so I was scared to leave the couch. I started crying and calling for my parents. Still no answer. I called for anyone. No one came. I started screaming. Nothing. I knew someone was there....or were they? Had they gone and left me for good? It felt like hours before they came in the door to find me curled up on the couch, sweating completely through my clothes, still hiccuping and sobbing, calling for them. The room mate had been upstairs the whole time, and hadn't heard me.That was the night I felt the most scared, the most alone, the most deserted, and the most unloved I have ever felt. I know what it feels like to call and cry and have no one answer. Why on earth would I want my child to feel the same way?