Oh boy...

Apparently, I'm in for it. I went garage sale-ing today, and got 4 beautiful (and brand new) picture frames and 2 outfits (practically new) for N for ten bucks. I'm glad I found the frames because N knocked our only 8 x 10 off of the end table the other day and broke it. Needless to say, all picture frames now live on our mantle, safely out of reach of small destructo-monkeys. So anyway, I go into the garage to pay for all of this stuff, and the lady at the table starts making faces at N in his stroller, he smiled and made cute little flirty faces at her (the child is a shameless flirt-women love him, and men think he's a riot). She asked me if he was a good baby, and I told her that I think so. So then she starts shaking her head, and with a voice of deep sympathy informed me that that was a major characteristic of a strong-willed child. She said, shaking her head in despair, "My daughter was a good baby, too. But when she turned two years old, it was all strong will after that." I said something about how I was really glad that my son is strong willed (just like his dear old mum ), and that I thought it was a wonderful trait that will serve him well in life. She didn't seem to have a response to that, but that was okay because the wheels in my head had already started turning...
I want to know why it is that having a strong will is looked at as a bad thing, particularly among the Christian parenting community. I'm thrilled that my son knows what he wants and goes for it. How great is that? I am easily able to meet my son's needs because he communicates with me. He can't talk aside from consonant babbling, and he hasn't decided that nursing needs a name yet, although if you hear a 'Na na na na na na na NA!' issuing from the mouth of a small babe with clenched fists, you can be sure he's frustrated with something. I can tell right away if my baby is hungry, thirsty, tired, in need of amusement (apparently, his limit is playing for 3-4 hours by himself, after that, he wants my attention ), or just wants to be cuddled. Maybe that's not due to his being strong willed, but I still appreciate it just the same. :) I can say that I sincerely hope that his determination leads him one day to desire a strong relationship with God and to go for it with all that he is. I can't understand why anyone would think that the spirit of such a child should be broken in order to be molded into what someone else thinks is the ideal Christian. I know I'm being obtuse here, but give me a break. It's 3:30am, and I'm tired and want to get this done and get all of my thoughts out. I think it would have been far better for my parents to channel my drive and determination into something that would help me understand my faith and life, than to be so concerned that I be broken and easily compliant to their slightest command. Garage Sale Lady asked about what N was doing developmentally, and as he has just learned to wave bye-bye, I mentioned that. She tried to get him to do it, but N seems to only do it when he's ready for others to go bye-bye, and not on command. Same thing with kisses. I explained this to her, and got another sigh and comment about strong-willedness. Frankly, I like it that he waves when he's ready to do so, and not at the command of a stranger. I feel happy that he communicates that to me instead of having a meltdown (which even at 10 months, I can tell you, are quite impressive). I'm glad he doesn't give kisses to every old lady in the store that asks for them. I'd much rather he give his affection on his own terms. All said and done, I'm darn glad my kid has a mind of his own.

PS...Please remind me of this entry in 18 months when he tries to dress himself in navy pants and a bright green shirt with glow in the dark socks topped off with a Superman cape in bright red.

PS again...Please remind me again of this entry in 16 years when he wants to do weird things with his hair and dress oddly and do things that there's noooo way I would have wanted to do when I was his age.